Our past class discussions I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of gender to identity and that endless argument whether its biological or a social construction. Not to mention how our language limits our perception of sex and gender Our world of binaries has given us “male” and “female” …but now we’re finding so much in between. I’m sure there’s a societal factor, but there still seems to be a lot that goes unexplained.
Furthermore, this has made me wonder about what the transgender community and what they might say about gender being a social construction. How could that be when they feel so strongly about their gender and their identity so as to surgically alter their physical bodies? I truly believe there is something inherent in that. And it’s not just gender, there is a lot about human nature that goes unexplained but we say it is learned. For example, when you think about certain personality traits –there’s only a certain extent to which you can really choose isn’t there?
This brings me back to what I’ve experienced in my own life. When I was growing up I never had any issues of what society would deem as “gender confusion”, I chose to play with dolls and wore the same pink dress for nearly a year. 7years later I got twin baby sisters that I thought would keep barbies in the house for another ten years.
However, that was not the case. From what I saw, there was nothing “socially constructed” about it. These girls knew exactly what they wanted from the moment they could talk and it was “boy” everything. Trying to put them in a dress made them scream and shout so loud it bordered on child abuse. As they got older they were full-fledged tomboys from their clothes (they wore boxers and topless swim trunks to the pool until well, they had to wear a tshirt too), the games they liked, all their friends were boys, they played on the boys soccer team and it was to the point that they preferred if we called them boys. My parents began to wonder if they should start saving for a pair of sex-change operations.
However, as it turns out, none was needed. Looking back now, it was a very interesting thing to watch—watching everyone try to figure them out or watch their joy in tricking people that called them boys. None of it seemed like a reaction to some socially constructed or environmental factor. It was just as inherent as their stubbornness and straight hair. My mom thought it had to do with the drugs the doctors gave her when she went into labor (she wanted all natural but they were 3 months premature), my dad thought they just might be gay, and my 7 yr old brain thought it was because I had secretly wished for a brother and someone got the order mixed up.
And although this was one of the most extreme and prolonged tomboy phases I’ve ever witnessed, it eventually faded into their own uniqueness that kind of transcended the label of “tomboy”. They are probably the most unique and daring people I’ve ever known and will never be "normal" by societal standards.
I don’t know where they got it from (it's not genetic) but it’s definitely not something someone can just choose to be. So, this kind of leaves me back where I started with no answers. However, now with all we’ve read and discussed in class it makes me think about how ridiculous it is to try to explain a person (especially) children, with only one of two categories. From such a young age it seems that gender is inflicted as a large part of our identities--I guess we don't know much else about our selves at that point--but I think it’s that pressure that made them feel like they should be boys in the first place. This identifier wasn’t really who they were, but if the things they like to do or wear are all things for “boys” where does that leave them?
If gender is basically divided by pink and blue, what's a girl to do if she likes blue? Is she conflicted with some kind of gender identity disorder? Or could it be those binaries just complicating things again with their limiting categories and words and associations and social constructions.
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